2-13-00

Apology: This is the main reason why this has taken me so long. I was going to have ten episodes but I could not think of anything else to form an episode. So this will be the very last one.

Relena turned fearful eyes towards Heero Yuy, hoping for some help. He just sighed and pressed a certain pressure point on Quatre's neck, effectively knocking him out. Duo pouted openly at the events, he was hoping for Relena to die.

"If I would have let Quatre kill him, he would have hated me when he regained his senses," Heero said by way of explanation. Wufei agreed.

"I just would not have been right. We'll just keep trying to leave. Maybe I can get home by my birthday next year at the latest."

"THIS ISN'T RIGHT!" Came a frustrated shout, they all were shocked to see it was Trowa. "I am so sick and tired of this! Listening to Relena whine, Dorothy complain, and Duo pout because of lack of sex."

Duo frowned. "Stop telling my personal business man."

"It's not like it's a secret!" He threw up his hands. "You shout it every day!"

Wufei snorted. "That's not the only thing he shouts."

"And you," Trowa spun. "With your 'kisamas' and your nosebleeds! By now, you should be drained of every blood cell in your body!"

"I won't strike you because you are a friend, but I will demand an apology."

"There are a number of phrases that he can say in this situation," Duo commented. "I know which words I would choose."

Trowa glared and looked him straight into the eyes. "Fuck you."

Duo nodded. "Yep. Those are the ones."

Wufei blinked once and blinked again. "That was unexpected."

"Trowa, what is wrong with you? Will this hamper your ability to complete the mission? You can't be a liability now." Heero asked in monotone.

Duo sweatdropped. "What mission? What are you talking about Hee-chan?"

"The mission to leave this island."

Trowa remained silent, his eyes as blank as always. Bending down, he picked his koibito up gently and disappeared into the jungle.

"Oh he's silent *now*!" Dorothy said with a snort. "How moronic."

Relena was still white as a sheet from her earlier near death. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted, everyone leaving her there. As they walked in the direction that Trowa had headed off to, Duo made an observation.

"You know what guys? I think he used up his word allotment for the entire year!"

***

Duo was bothering everyone again. He had been doing it on a regular basis, moving from person-to-person, in the search for something to do. He would always start with his koibito and getting him to say more than three sentences was usually a really entertaining challenge.

"Heero?" Duo asked right after the mini-incident. The other boy just grunted in acknowledgement. "Why do you love me?"

That question actually left Heero Yuy speechless for a moment.

"What do you mean 'why do you love me'?"

Duo sat next to him on the sand. "I mean just what I said. You have to have at least one reason!"

Heero was confused. "You need to a reason to love someone?"

He nodded. "Like you love the way they talk or their personality."

Heero blinked and thought about it. "Actually, I love you because you're you."

Duo pouted. "That's not a reason!"

Quatre smiled at him. "It's enough for me Duo-chan."

Wufei agreed. "If you knew how different you actually were from everyone else, then you would accept his answer without a comment."

Quatre nodded. "It's your uniqueness that makes us all love you. Well, everyone except Dorothy and that bitch Relena." He said this all with a smile on his face.

Duo began to smile goofily and his eyes teared up. "I love you guys!" He glomped Heero. "Especially you koi."

"Oh gag me with a stick," Dorothy muttered.

Relena just glared fiercely and began to yell. "Don't touch my Heero!"

Quatre jumped immediately to his feet and glared death at her. "Do you want to shut up on your own or do I have to make you?"

Relena stood, unmoved. "I want to see you try."

Trowa grabbed the blond around his waist and lifted him away bodily. He raised an eyebrow at Relena. "This is the last time I'm going to safe your life. You act like you have a death wish or something."

"It's not right for my Heero to latch on to that braided freak! I think it's just a phase. He doesn't know how to express his love to me so he runs to the most annoying person on the face of this planet." She sniffed with disdain. "He won't have to say a word because Duo will do it for him."

Suddenly the probably fake blond was surrounded and it wasn't friendly. They were like sharks in the Pacific and she was their main course.

"I am so tired of your stupidity Relena," Heero growled. "We all are! I don't love you. I've never loved you. I will never love you. Get that through your tiny brain!"

She began to sniff. "You don't mean that..."

Dorothy rolled her eyes and smacked the Peacecrap bitch as hard as she could. "Get a clue!"

Duo was about to yell at her when he tripped over the huge thing that was her purse. A lot of things spilled out and one of them was very useful to the current situation. Duo froze and bent down to pick it up.

It was a cell phone.

He was enraged for an all new reason now because all of that time they spent trying to escape and she had a damn cell phone in her purse. He lunged at her, grabbing her neck in a firm grip, and raising the small device to her face.

"What is this?!"

She glared. "It's a cell phone, baka. What do you think it is?"

He tightened his grip until her air supply was cut off. "This bitch had this phone the whole time."

Wufei picked it up and turned it on. "And the battery isn't dead."

Trowa just groaned silently and released his koi who then began to beat the crap out of Relena. Everyone stepped away and began to talk.

"Well, I say we call Pagan." Trowa suggested. "He would come and get us for sure. Besides, they have to be looking for us."

"Do you know the number?"

He shook his head. "Somehow, Relena doesn't strike me as a person who could remember phone numbers. Check the memory."

"She doesn't look a person who could put numbers in the memory either," Wufei commented.

"Try it anyway."

As Heero dialed up her butler, Quatre was once again pulled away. This time by Duo.

"Wait Q-chan. I have the best idea in history and it would be greater if she were alive for it."

Quatre was beyond all rationality. He just wanted to kill her. Relena had bruises all over her body, a broken nose, and a busted lip. And the blond boy was just getting started. He had planned on killing her as slowly as possible to ensure a good torture experience.

"What's the plan Duo," He said after he got better control over himself. Duo explained it in great detail, Relena yelling and screaming all the while. Soon Heero got off the phone and motioned for them to come closer.

"He said that he'll be here in a little while. Pagan also said that there were a lot of people searching for us and," He jerked his thumb at Relena. "that."

They all sat down on the sand to wait as Quatre gleefully retrieved some salt water to rub in Relena's raw wounds.

***

They had finally loaded up all of their belongings on the helicopter Pagan had arrived in that was blissfully black and not pink.

"That color is nauseating." Pagan told them. "I think that's why Pepto-Bismol is that color."

Duo laughed. "Nicely put."

As the chopper rose into the air, everyone waved bye-bye to the lone figure tied to a palm tree. Relena was bound and gagged by Dorothy (who had realized that loving Relena was a big mistake. She decided to try for Sally Po or Lucrezia Noin) and Duo and beaten up a little more by Quatre. She wiggled and squirmed against her strong bonds but could not get free at all.

A Shinigami smile came over Duo's face. "See you in Hell!" He called to her. "I'll be there waiting to torture you more!" And everyone laughed as he form became a small dot on the island.

~Owari~

I've finally completed this! Now, it would be nice to get some ratings...