Disclaimer: I don’t own DBZ or any of the characters.
Note: Just telling you that this DOES NOT follow the timeline. You probably already figured that out, but I’m telling you anyway.
Last time on Once Upon a Dragon Ball…
ChiChi was about to kill Bulma
And that’s about it.
Once Upon a Dragon Ball Special One: DBZ Smackdown
We last left Goku saying, "LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!"
Vegeta: Welcome to the special edition of Once Upon a Dragon Ball called DBZ Smackdown! I’m your host, Vegeta Prince of the Saiyans and my co-host is a third class loser named Kakarott. Say hi to the people Kakarott!
Goku: 1. My name is Goku. 2. I AM NOT A LOSER!! SO SHUT UP!
Vegeta: (rolls eyes) Whatever. Back to what I was saying: Our match today is a special one; Kakar-uh Goku’s wife ChiChi versus my idiot wife Bulma! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.
(camera focuses on the ring. There are thousands upon thousands of people in the stands. ChiChi is sitting in the corner of the ring looking bored, Bulma is sitting in the opposite corner looking mad. Both are ready to kick some butt.)
ChiChi: Say your prayers and good-byes Bulma ‘cuz you WON’T survive this fight!
Bulma: I’m ready. Let’s go!
(the bell sounds)
Ref: Round one, FIGHT!
(Bulma and ChiChi advance towards each other)
(the camera goes to the audience)
Goten: Yeah! You can do it mom! Kick Bulma’s ass!
Trunks: What did you just say? I ought to shove those words down your throat!
Goten: Just try it!
Bra: Guys please! This fight is more important to yours; can’t it wait till later?
Goten and Trunks: NO! (but they shut up anyway)
Goku: Oooh, a kick to the spine by ChiChi! That’s looks like it’s gonna hurt tomorrow!
Vegeta: But wait! Bulma came back with a roundhouse kick to ChiChi’s forehead! Take that!
(in the ring Bulma and ChiChi both look fine)
ChiChi: You’re going down, hussy! (she grabs Bulma’s hair)
(Bulma grabs ChiChi’s. Both are yanking and grunting with effort)
Ref: No hair pulling!
Bulma & ChiChi: You stay outta this! (both punch him in the face and resume pulling hair)
Vegeta: This is taking too long! (he flies up to the ring) Do you want to finish this sometime this millennium?
(the hair pulling stops as both opponents land numerous punches to each other’s face)
Bulma: Oh, god! I broke a nail! It’s on now! (she now is beating ChiChi pretty badly)
Goku: ChiChi, don’t let her do that to you! Remember, she stole your man!
ChiChi: (to herself) That’s right! (she trips Bulma, climbs up on the top rope and body slams her. the crowd goes wild.)
Goku: (cheering) You go girl!
Vegeta: Bulma, you do worse things to me when you’re mad, don’t let her get the upper hand. Try the secret move! Try the secret move!
(Bulma’s face brightens at this. she pushes ChiChi off of her and pins her down. she opens her mouth…)
Goku: What the heck is she doing?
Vegeta: The secret move, duh!
(Bulma all of a sudden bit ChiChi. ChiChi screamed so loud all of the windows shattered)
Vegeta: Hey, that’s not the move!
Goku: (impressed) But it’s still good.
ChiChi: Get off me you disgusting whore! (she jumps up and wipes off the blood) It’s my turn now! (a frying pan appears out of no where)
Goku: Yes! It’s the dreaded Frying Pan Smash! It’s lights out for Bulma!
Vegeta: Not if I can help it! I have money riding on this! (he remembers how he earlier made a bet with Master Roshi. he starts to talk telepathically) <Bulma you baka, use the attack! The one you * always * use on me! You know the one!>
Bulma: (she understands this time) Opens her mouth again, but this time got all in ChiChi’s face and used those powerful lungs she was born with)
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Vegeta: Yes, the Death Wail! I love it! I love it!
(ChiChi’s eardrums and everyone’s eardrums within a 50-foot radius started to pound and pound until they started to bleed. Goku and Vegeta are outside the immediate danger area.)
Goku: OH MY KAMI!
Vegeta: (laughing maniacally) I knew that would come in handy some day! I knew it! I knew it! (he’s starting to loose it slightly)
Goku: (smacking him) Get a hold on yourself! You know we too are in danger!
Vegeta: What?
Goku: Yes, remember you told me a long time ago that a Saiyans hearing is more acute than a humans?
Vegeta: Yes, but what does this have to…? OH NO! WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW!
Goku: Duh!
(short explanation: even though they’re not within 50 feet, it’ll still affect them like I said above. Problem is, it’ll be worse.)
(both saiyans jump up and run over to where Bra, Goten, Gohan, etc. were sitting)
Goku: Kids we have to go! (seeing Goten start to question him) No time to explain just come on! (to Krillin and the others) You too including Piccolo, just to be on the safe side.
(they all jump up and run out of the building right when Bulma stops. they all look surprised)
Vegeta: (amazed) That’s the first time she ever ran out of air!
Is ChiChi going to be all right? What about Bulma? And ChiChi’s special attack, will she ever use it? Was this interesting? Was this too short? Stay tuned to the next exciting episode of Once Upon a Dragon Ball!