Disclaimer: Um, Akira Toriyama-san created Dragonball, not me and the characters own themselves.
Note: Again I'm sorry about forgetting to post episode 29. Oh and this one will mainly focuse on some of the humor I've seem to have lost in previous eps.
{ } = author inserts are back!
Once Upon a Dragon Ball: Special Edition #6 - The Deadly Sickness (stupid title, I know)
Last time on OUADB:
-An alien came from no where, used the Dragonballs, and gave everyone on Chikyuu a deadly illness
-Gohan got angry ('nuff said)
-Bra was the first to show symptoms
(Scene opens in Bulma's lab. She is literally running back and forth between frothing beakers and printouts looking just like Dr. Frankenstine. Zandor is chained to a table near the back of the room.)
Bra: (sitting on a stool and looking mostly normal) Mama! He's coming around!
Bulma: (not pausing and yelling) VEGETA! GET YOUR SHORT ASS IN HERE! THE BASTARD'S AWAKE!
Vegeta: (grumbling about getting no respect as he approached the alien) Now you son of a bitch...
Zandor: Please call me Zandor.
Bra: People who want to kill off an entire race and finish what Frieza started on another don't deserve to get called by their names.
Zandor: Oh. Was there something you wanted?
Vegeta: You're damn right there's something I want. (he goes up to him and smacks him) GIVE ME THE CURE!
Zandor: (sighing) Interrogation isn't going to work. I already told you, I don't have it! Boy you saiyans are just like the galactic archives said, dumber than anyone can comprehend.
(Vegeta grits his teeth and raises his hand for another blow when Bra catches his arm.)
Bra: Control yourself Papa. He has to be able to stay concious.
(Bulma finally stops her mad dash around the lab and wipes the sweat from her forehead.)
Bulma: I think I have it! I've located the exact viral strain and it doesn't have duplicates with alterations so it should be easy enough to cure.
Bra: Uh huh. Whatever you said. I'm more of a mechanical person myself. (she moves to unchain Zandor) Don't try anything funny. Look into the shadows over there. (she pointed to a corner to the left of the door)
Zandor: What? (he squints and sees) Oh.
(Gohan was standing there, arms crossed, in super saiyan lv.3, with this really disturbing smirk on his face while glaring at Zandor)
Zandor: Got ya. I swear I won't try a thing.
Bra: Good. (she finishes her job)
Zandor: (sits up and rubs his wrists) Can you at least let me leave the planet? As much as I would like to be here to see your every dying moment, Gohan is starting to make me nervous...
Bra: That was the point.
Zandor: Oh. Okay. Good job then.
Vegeta: THIS STUPID CONVERSATION IS GETTING US NO WHERE!
Bulma: (cheerfully) You're right Veggie-chan!
Vegeta: I am?! And don't call me Veggie-chan!
Bulma: I think I found a cure! It will either cure it completely, kill you instantly, or speed it up.
Bra: (sarcastically) Oh goody! A 1 out of 3 shot! In favor of the virus!
Bulma: It's better than nothing. I need someone to try it out on. (turns to Vegeta) Oh Veggie-chan!
Vegeta: (backs away) NO WOMAN! You can't make me!
Bulma: Oh come on! The worst it can do is kill you and besides, we can wish you back with the dragonballs as soon as I find the right cure! We never used a specific "bring back Vegeta" wish before. You always got wished back by accident or by a "mass wish". Remember?
Vegeta: Of course I remember! Try it out on Kakarott! He's the immortal one here!
Bulma: (gasping) You're right! Even though he's immortal, the virus still exists in his body... (running to the door of the lab holding a needle for the injection) Oh Son-kun!
(She runs down the hall. You can hear Goku's terrified scream and the sound of panicked running)
Vegeta: (chuckling) I just love doing that!
Bra: (muttering) My father, the sadist.
(Scene opens outside the lab. Bulma is currently involved in a "game" of catch the baka. Goku is cheating by flying.)
Bulma: Goku! Just think of this as another duty as "savior of the world"! If it works, I can make enough in time to distribute it around the world!
Goku: Well, if you put it that way. Okay. (he goes over to Bulma and sits down in a lawn chair, holding out his arm, and looking away) Go ahead, do your worst.
Bulma: Quit being so dramatic. (joking) Do you want ChiChi to hold your hand?
Goku: (dead serious) Yes please.
ChiChi: (Looking up from her magazine. {For once, she's calm. Let's just all pray to kami that she stays that way.}) Goku! I need *both* my hands! You are not crushing one today, no way. Get Goten. (goes back to reading)
Bulma: Goten or Trunks, get out here NOW!
(Goten shows up first and stops in front of the two)
Goten: What?
Bulma: Hold your tousans hand.
Goten: (looking at her weirdly) What?!
Bulma: (at her wits end) HOLD. HIS. HAND. NOW!!
(Goten gulps and hastens to comply)
Bulma: This will be over in a second, Son-kun. (She whips out a needle and drew some of his blood. Then she stuck another needle in a bottle, draws out the fluid, sticks it into the bend of his elbow, and injects it within 60 seconds. Goku flinches when she stuck him, but managed to keep the puppy-like whimpering under control.) There. All done. (she sticks a yellow band-aid with smiley faces over his wound.)
Goku: (examining it) Sugoi! Do you give out lollipops too?
(Bulma, Goten, and ChiChi sweatdrop)
Goku: (truly confused) What?
Bulma: (shakes her head) Now all we have to do is wait 3 hours and I'll have to draw your blood for tests.
Goku: (frightened) A-A-another need-dle?!
Bulma: Gomen nasai Son-kun, but it's the only way.
Goku: (small voice) All right.
(She resists to urge to pat him on the head and tell him he was a good boy and goes back inside yelling:)
Bulma: IN THREE HOURS, BASTARD, YOUR FATE WILL BE DECIDED!
Zandor: (faintly and sarcastically) Oh joy! Just what I've always wanted, multiple fractures and a serious head injury!
(Scene opens in Bulma's Lab)
Gohan: You mean multiple BREAKS, a serious head injury, and lots and lots of torture.
Zandor: (muttering) Why don't you just keep adding more, why don't you?
Gohan: (shrugging) Hey, it's your funeral.
Zandor: Exactly what I'm afraid of.
Bra: May I ask why you tried this if you're afraid of pain?
Zandor: There's no harm in that. You see, the information in our archives is just a wee bit outdated. In it, you, Bra, Trunks, Goten, and Pan don't exist and Gohan is a five year old.
Vegeta: (snorting) A WEE bit outdated?
Zandor: (sighing) Okay, A LOT. I actually meant to come years ago, when I would have been the strong one, but I was detained by the same committee that keeps the archives updated.
(That received a questionable look from Bra.)
Zandor: The Galactic Union has been having financial troubles for the over the past 35 years. I couldn't get a ship until now because I was on a waiting list. A list for the whole galaxy. They are just now starting to recover and update things again. (he gave a deep sigh) Too bad it came too late.
Bra: Well, you better hope for your sake that Kaasan's cure works and you get off with just a full-body cast because I think that your body parts would be scattered throughout the universe if it doesn't. (that received a confirmation nod from Gohan.)
(Scene opens three hours later. Goku, Goten, Trunks, and Pan have been playing Bra's N64 to pass the time, Gohan is still watching Zandor like a hawk, Bra is reading a time machine repair manual, Bulma is pacing, Vegeta is leaning against the wall looking like he's asleep, and ChiChi is on the phone with Videl, giving her an update. Suddenly an *loud* clamor of bells, beeps, whistles, and the like started up. They all were turned off A.S.A.P. Everyone apologizes about his/her watch alarm, pager alarm, clock radio alarm, alarm clock, etc.)
Bulma: It's been three hours! Come on Goku, to the lab! (Goku walks slowly behind her like she's leading him off to the electric chair or something. Everyone crowds around the windows and peeks in {everyone but Vegeta, but he's trying to act like he's not interested}) Um hmmmm. Okay. (She reads the printout on a machine while Goku looks on, miserable. She puts on her best serious face and goes outside to the crowd.) Guys, I have something very important to say.
Bra: What? It didn't work, Kaasan?
Bulma: That's not it. It did.
Bra: Then what?!
Bulma: The-- (suddenly there is a semi-large explosion from her lab and a big wave of stench wafted out) side-effects...
(Goku comes out and everyone sniffs and moves away from him)
Vegeta: My god, Kakarott, did you have beans for dinner or something?!
Goku: Uh no. (steps closer and everyone keeps their distance, even Bulma.)
Bulma: You see, the medecine has a side effect of 'increased build-up of intestinal gas'.
Vegeta: Nani?
Bulma: (irritated) He's gonna be farting like that for a while. Or at least an hour or two.
Vegeta: Well then, he's not gonna be by me. (the others quickly say the same and the area clears out faster than you can say, "Choutzu in drag")
Bulma: (chasing them and waving her cure) But you have to take it! Either you take it or you die, you decide!
(they all stop and walk back slowly)
Pan: Fine. But I want total isolation from you people or you can hold it in.
20 minutes later...
Zandor is begging someone to kill him with a dull butter knife, Bulma is currently making a HUGE supply and is trying to encapsulate it so it can be distributed. Since there's still some days left, she's not worried. Oh and it turns out that Gohan can't stand to be anywhere near anyone else so he has locked himself in his home bathroom with his complete collection of Japan Business Monthly and a year supply of bon-bons and cream puffs. Enough for 2 hours for a saiyan. Zandor seems to have an extra 3 hours before extreme pain. I wil not go into details here since I want this to be a PG fanfic and Gohan's going to get BAD, real BAD. Just think what he had done to Cell, Frieza, and some others (that I think may be in movies I haven't seen) times 10.
Next time on OUADB. The final episode? Hai! It is! I've have fun, have gotten many complemets, but since I *really* need to finish some other fanfics (summer vacation, added bonus). I might continue some day over the rainbow, but probably not. I think a flashback episode (like Boy Meets Worlds' last one) is in order. Ja ne!
On to Episode 30