Once Upon a Dragon Ball
Disclaimer: I don’t own them so please don’t sue!
Last time on Once Upon a Dragon Ball…
Vegeta is sleeping with Piccolo (don’t ask)
Bulma is cheating on Vegeta with Goku and is pregnant with his baby
Goku is a secret agent
Gohan is Mr. Satan’s real child while Videl is his adopted one
Krillin is a super hero
(At the scene of the fire)
Krillin: Okay dokey little girl. Up, up and away!
(stupid music begins to play while Krillin flies up to a window in the house.)
Woman’s voice: Help! Help!
Man: We’re in the living room! My wife is trapped under the china cabinet!
(Krillin zooms in and moves the cabinet so the man could pick up his wife. He uses his super ki shield to block the flames.)
Woman: (as he and her husband hugs their child) Thank you!
Little Girl: Oh no! Where’s Mittens?
Krillin: Who?
Little Girl: My kitty!
Krillin: Don’t worry I’ll save her!
(scene changes to Trunks in a richly furnished room. He looks pitiful with heavy bags under his eyes and his hair is a mess.)
Trunks: C’mon Pan! Why do you keep having so many kids?
Pan: (answers after she quiets 6 kids and feeds 3 more) Because I think they’re cute! You must agree, you’re their father!
Trunks: Sure there okay, if there is just 2 or 3. But not 9!
Pan: Just deal with it!
Trunks: No I won’t I’m…
(insert yet more dramatic music)
leaving you Pan!
Pan: You won’t! Please don’t Trunks, I love you! (collapses in tears)
Trunks: You must not love me enough for birth control!
(scene changes again to the White House)
Goku: (he’s straining against a heavy oak door) Just one more minute Mr. President, we’ve almost got you out!
Goten: Uh, dad. You have super human strength. Just yank the door open!
Goku: (sheepishly) Oh, yeah that’s right.
(they walk in and gasp audibly)
Goku: Not again! Bill, I won’t cover your little tracks any more. Monica was bad enough, not her!
Bill: But I needed some!
Goku: I refuse. Stop and you two get dressed before I call in the media!
(too late)
Reporter 1: Mr. President, are you yet again cheating on your wife?
Bill: No comment.
Reporter 2: Are you satisfied with you and your wife’s relationship?
Bill: No comment.
Reporter 3: Are you going to say anything other than "No comment"?
Bill: Uh, No.
(scene changes back to the fire they never put out. There is a seemingly endless pile of belongings in the middle of the street and Krillin looks a little singed.)
Man: What about my Playboy magazines? You got the porn videos, but you forgot my mags!
Krillin: Oh, just shut up! I quit!
(he flew away as the fire truck pulled up and put out the fire.)