Once Upon a Dragon Ball
Disclaimer: I don’t own DBZ or any of the characters, though I wish I did. ENJOY!
This does not follow any of the timeline and just about everyone is OOC. (And since this is *really* early work, it's preety bad until about episode 8 or 9 and also the episodes get longer.)
Announcer: We are now back with our show, Once Upon a Dragon Ball…
(Bulma and Vegeta are sitting in the living room, Vegeta is reading and Bulma is playing video games…)
Vegeta: (putting down his book) You know what my love?
Bulma: What, Vegeta?
Vegeta: I love you!
Bulma: I love you too, but I can’t hold this in any longer! I’m sleeping with….
(insert dramatic music)
GOKU!
Vegeta: You’re what?! Oh, Bulma! How could you?
(he starts sobbing uncontrollably)
Bulma: Veggie-chan don’t worry. It’ll be okay! I have one more thing to tell you….
(more dramatic music)
I’m going to have Goku’s child!
Vegeta: (realizes something) Actually this is not so bad. I have something to say also. I’m sleeping with Piccolo!
Bulma: (slaps Vegeta) Vegeta you’re a dog!
Vegeta: Ow. How come I’m bad? At least he can’t get pregnant!
(scene changes to Gohan and Videl’s house)
Videl: Gohan, my father wants us all to come to his house for dinner tonight
Gohan: Yeah, well f*ck your father!
Videl: (slap) How could you say that about your father?!
Gohan: My what?! Goku is my dad!
Videl: Sorry, you’re adopted.
Gohan: Eww. Why did I marry you then? You’re my sister!
Videl: Mr. Satan adopted me, so its okay.
Gohan: I don’t really understand, but I know I’ll never look at you the same.
(at Goku’s house)
(Goku is eating at the kitchen table, when a beeping sound is heard.)
Goku: (to watch) Yes, what is it?
???: Mr. Son, you’re needed at the White House.
Goku: Aw, why? Did Bill get busted again and needs me to
dispose of the evidence?
???: No sir, it’s worse this time. MUCH worse.
Goku: What is it?
???: It seems Mr. Clinton has been traped in his office.
Goku: (sighs) Oh, the things I do for him. I’ll be there right away.
(gets up from the table)
ChiChi: (comes in) Goku, where are you going?
Goku: Um, I need to go to the store. I’m all out of orange gi’s.
ChiChi: Well okay, but be back soon!
Goku: Yes ChiChi. (to himself) That was close….
(on a street in Satan City…)
???: Oh no! Someone’s in trouble! I need to change.
(figure runs to a nearby phone booth)
???: Sorry, miss. I need this!
(pushes out a woman)
???: (into the phone) she’ll call you back!
(a few minutes later a figure emerges..)
Krillin: I hope I’m not too late!
(a crowd gathers)
Man: Up in the sky…
Girl: Is it a martian?
Boy: Is it a comet?
Man: No! It’s a bald guy!
(everyone facevaults)
Krillin: Hey, I have a super hero's license! I'll even show it to you!
(He pulls out various cards and stuff)
Krillin: Rogain Anonymus, Visa, Bi-Sexuals of America, picture of Maron, ah here it is!
(he shows it to everyone)
Krillin: I'm called Bald Dude. Now please direct me to the problem
Little girl: My house is on fire! * sniff * Mommy and Daddy never came out! Please help them!
To be continued….