(Been procrastinating again. Gomen!)

**example** means that the word between the double asterisks is being spoken in the present during a flashback. This also applies to all of the chapters.

The Fifth Fiancé
Chapter 8

A figure ate a small fortune in food at a local restaurant while the owners looked on. They both had yen signs in their eyes at the thought of receiving all of that cash. After the person was through, however, they stood quickly and ran right out of the ramen shop.

"Hey!" The woman cried while waving a skillet at the retreating figure, "Come back here!" But they didn't listen. Just when she was about to go and get the police, her husband stuck his head outside while holding a piece of paper.

"Why honey," the older man said, "he left this note." She snatched it from him and began to read aloud.

"Please charge the food care of Genma Saotome at the Son residence."


Whether the citizens of Satan City knew it or not, they were in serious trouble. Or rather the pretty, young female citizens were. There was a man in town that existed just to make lives miserable. A man who existed just to cause trouble, a man who made Kamesennin seem like an angel.

And that man was Happosai.

The small pervert jumped around the street latching on to any of the aforementioned females that he saw. Amid their squeals and shouts of protest, he sighed in utter bliss has he groped for all he was worth. Luckily a sane male came along.

Or rather a female who supposed to be a male.

"What in the world are you doing?" Ranma asked in a disgusted voice. She continued to lick at her ice cream cone all the while.

"Don't you know that this is wrong?" Pan asked.

"Wrong?" He asked jumping off one brunette and aiming for Ranma. She calmly side-stepped to avoid the confrontation. "What's wrong with an old man trying to have fun?"

"Nothing if it's *legal* fun!" Pan grabbed him by the back of the shirt and tossed him aside.

"Why don't you go back to the old folk's home?" Ranma asked, smirking. "I'm sure they miss you there."

Happosai began to sniff. "You are all so mean to me!"

Ranma opened his mouth to say something else when a blur bodily picked him up and ran off. A brief look to his right confirmed that Pan was with him as well.

"Nani? What's goin' on?" he shouted. They ran a little farther, in the general direction of Pan's house. "Where are we goin'?"

As the blur carried them inside the house and shut the door, Genma leaned against it panting. "Don't ever do that boy! Not to the sensei!"

"SENSEI?!" The two asked in unison.

"That old man?" Pan questioned.

'Hai," he grabbed his large backpack. "We must leave now Ranma. I, uh, just remembered I left the stove on back home."

There was a clatter on the front porch and Soun's voice floated inside. "Are you ready Saotome? We have to go before *he* comes!"

"Just a sec!" Was the answer. "Well, are you coming or not?"

"Iie," Ranma shook her head. "I ain't goin' no place else with you Old Man."

"Suit yourself. Just don't come cryin' to me with plans of vengeance." He shouldered his pack, opened the door, and took off.

"Well, that was weird," Pan said as she sat down. The door opened again as if on cue. "I guess I spoke too soon." She rose and left the room to get some water for Ranma.

"What are you two doin' back?" The pig-tailed girl asked in a suspicious voice. She then had to jump back a couple of steps as Genma and Soun were tossed back inside.

"That should teach you for trying to run away," the figure dusted off his hands.

"Sensei!" The both exclaimed. Bowing low, they began to worship him. "We're so sorry!"

"How pathetic," Pan muttered.

Happosai was just about to berate the two men again as he spotted both Ranma -- for a second time -- and Pan. "OOH!"

The quarter saiyan had a split second to blink for Happy was all over her. "AHHH!" She screamed, startled.

The old man rubbed his face against her chest for a few moments more until he just stopped, apparently thinking. Moving fast, he abandoned Pan for the red head nearby. Latching onto her, he squeezed.

"Yeah," he sighed, "now this is what I'm use to. Sorry girl," He said this to Pan. "You just don't have enough."

Trembling with rage for being talked about and for being groped in the first place, Pan brought up a fist. "Why you little--!" But Ranma hit him first.

Dazed, the old man dropped to the ground.

"DIRTY OLD MAN!" she shrieked. Calming slightly she turned to her father. "Can't you keep the perverts to yourself, Pop?" Smirking she turned to Pan and struck a pose. "Sorry but you'll never have a body like mine."

A hard punch to the gut was her answer.


A small man crouched outside the sliding glass doors at the Capsule Corporation. He had a handkerchief tied around his face and knotted under his nose in the traditional burglar style and carried a large sack. He peeked inside one last time to make sure that the coast was clear and then he proceeded to pry open the entrance.

Happosai had been enticed to enter this room because he had seen a *very* provocative piece of lingerie lying on the huge bed. Grinning he had leapt to the balcony to swipe it.

Now he entered the large room slowly so as not to alert the owner of his presence.

"OOLONG YOU PERVERT!" Came a shout. Bulma grabbed a book from the bedside table and hit Happy on the head with it. She turned on a nearby lamp and blinked as she noticed who it really was. "Oh. You're not Oolong."

Happosai's eyes lit up as he saw that she was clad in only a thin silk bathrobe. "Pretty lady..." He was practically drooling.

Bulma smiled at being called pretty but it turned into a scowl as the small man didn't stop moving towards her.

"Hold it right there!" shouted another voice. Bulma and Happosai both turned to the source of the sound.

It was none other than Master Roshi similarly dressed. "That's my underwear!"

"Kamesennin, I can't believe you steal lingerie now!" Bulma groaned. She really should have seen it coming. By then both perverted old men were advancing towards her.

"Uh, stop..." she said nervously. But the men were entranced. "STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!" Then they both leapt at her, trying for a grope. "VEGETA!!"

He opened the door, a little annoyed at being summoned. "What is it onna?"

"I have a name you know," she muttered more as a reflex than anything else. "Get these two away from me!"

Vegeta's eyes turned frosty as he focused his gaze on Happy and Roshi.

"Hi!" Roshi said in mock cheer, "How are you this fine day?"

"I'm a little angry," Vegeta spoke in a controlled voice.

"Really?" Happosai questioned. "And why is that?"

"I come to the aid of my mate and find two *idiots* trying to feel her up and steal her underwear!" His glare grew harder. "Wouldn't that anger you as well?"

"Iie!" They said in unison. "Why would it?"

With an animalistic growl, Vegeta picked them both up by their collars and threw them out into the air. He then threw multiple ki-blasts to make sure that they were both dead. "AND STAY THAT WAY!!"

Bulma instantly glomped him in relief. "Oh arigatou Veggie-chan! Ai shiteru!"

He blinked and reddened slightly. "You do know I hate you, right?"

She just hugged him tighter. "Sure do!"

At street level, the two old men picked themselves up from the ground. Happosai shook one small fist at the large building, yelling in a angry voice. "It takes a lot more to kill me!"

Master Roshi shouted something as well. "Yeah! Perverts don't die this easy!" With a nod to each other, both of them collapsed into abused heaps.


Ranma and Pan flew in the sky at an easy pace on their way to the other Son house. "So," Pan began, "what do you think happened to that man?"

The boy shrugged. "What do I care? As long as he doesn't try to grab me again this doesn't concern me. Although," he grinned as he remembered the earlier conversation, "you'll never have to worry about it."

Pan growled but didn't say a word. After a short while she smirked and powered up. "Bye now! I hope you have fun trying to find your way home!" She sped off, laughing.

"You uncute midget!" he shouted after her. "I don't want to end up like Ryouga!"

"It's your own fault!" Was her reply as she disappeared out of sight.

Pan flew at that speed for a while, constantly thinking how idiotic and evil the pig-tailed boy was. But the more she thought about it the more she started to feel guilty about what she had done.

'What if he never gets back home? What if he just floats there until he runs out of energy and falls to the ground dying of hunger and thirst? What if a ravenous bird comes and attacks him in mid-air? It'll be all my fault!' Turning she went all the way back.

Ranma was still there when she returned. In fact, he hadn't moved a centimeter. Pan rolled her eyes as she saw this, stopping abruptly. "Well come on!" She shouted. "I don't have all day! I need to spar for at least an hour or two before I have to go home and do my homework."

"You're the one who left me," Ranma said. Pan snorted.

"And *you're* the one who wanted to come in the first place!"

They promptly began to argue even as a sleepy Goten flew up to them. "What's going on?" he asked rubbing his eyes. Her phone call had woken him from an afternoon nap.

"She left me here!" Ranma shouted.

"He insulted me!"

Goten just shook his head. "Are you ready to go Pan-chan?" But neither heard him.

"You started this you jerk!" Pan screamed.

"Me? You're the one who started the whole thing!" Ranma screamed back.

"Wait a minute," Pan held up a hand. "Like I said before, your father started the whole thing by making this deal with my ojiisan."

"You're right," Ranma said slowly, "it *is* his fault!"

"Let's go get him!" They slapped five and flew off toward Pan's house.

Goten blinked at the sight. "What just happened here?"


Arriving at Pan's home in record time, the two instantly began to look for Genma Saotome.

"Hey Old Man! Are you here?!" Ranma shouted. For long minutes there wasn't an answer at all. Then they heard a muffled shouting from somewhere in the house.

"Where are you?" Pan asked as they looked around. Several pieces of overturned furniture and messy closets later the duo stopped in front of the hall closet. "He's in here. He has to be." Opening the closet door slowly she gaped at the sight.

Both Soun and Genma were crammed inside the tiny closet, tied and gagged.

"What the heck happened to you two?" Ranma asked peering at them. There was muffled grunting and he removed the socks.

"The master locked us in here!" Genma cried. "Untie me boy."

Smirking he stepped back as Pan pulled Akane's father out. "We're just gonna leave you here."

"Yeah," the short quarter-saiyan agreed. "You need to think about what you've done."

"IIE!" The man squealed. "I'm, uh, claustrophobic!"

"Then close your eyes." Pan started to shut the door again.

"I'm afraid of the dark!"

Pan ran a grabbed a flashlight from her room, turned it on, and stuck it under Genma's arm. "There. You now have light."

"I have to go potty!"

"There's nothin' we can do about that one!" Ranma firmly shut the door and ignored his father's protests. "Tendo-san, what did you guys do to the old goat?"

He shook his head. "All we tried to do was dispose of him. That's a public service that aids everyone in the world!"

"That's true. He *is* an annoyance," Pan mused.

"We tried once before and it sort of backfired..."


Happosai jumped around a town carrying his bag with ladies underwear falling out. He was closely followed by a panting Genma and Soun -- also carrying bags -- who were being tailed by extremely angry women.

**He had us taking underwear as well and claiming it was all a part of the 'training'. He soon moved on to more horrible things.**

Forming a human step ladder, Genma on the bottom, Soun on his shoulders, and Happy on the top, the pervert peered over the wall of the woman's bath house. A loud scream is heard as they were discovered. Happosai jumped away and everything that had been thrown at him now fell onto his unfortunate pupils.

**He had us help him to peek on naked women. We also stole food and sake[1] for him.**


"I don't get it," Pan mentioned. "How come you just didn't say no?"

Soun shook his head sadly. "It's not that easy I'm afraid. Even though he doesn't really look like it, Sensei is an incredibly strong foe. Saotome and I just weren't able. Although there *is* a certain way..."


Keg after keg of sake was drank by Happosai and somehow Soun and Genma kept coming up with more. Finally, after the old man was fast asleep, they tied him up with extra strength rope, threw him down into a cave with dynamite, and moved a huge rock into place. Covering their ears, they waited for the explosion. The vibrations shook that whole side of the mountain as the two partners-in-crime shook hands.

"A job well done Tendo," Genma grinned.

"I could definitely say so Saotome," Soun grinned back. Nodding in a final agreement, they both turned and headed back down the mountain.


"He survived all of that?!" Ranma asked, shocked.

"Hai. And we used enough explosives to blow a large hole to the center of Mt. Fuji! So you see, we have no idea what can kill him."

"This is really bad," Pan sighed. "I don't want him around me!" She began to go downstairs to get something to eat when a loud noise startled her. Getting into a defensive position automatically, she slowly walked downstairs. "Who's there?"

"It's just me!" Goten shouted as he came inside. "And guess what I saw?" He held up a colorful advertisement for something. Ranma took it from him and began to read.

" 'The 32nd Annual Tenkaichi Budoukai is coming up'." The pig-tailed boy looked up. "What in the world is the Tenkaichi Budoukai?"

"You don't know?!" Pan gasped. "It's a martial arts tournament that's held every three years[2]. *Everyone* competes in this one!"

"Most of us just go to see Tousan and Vegeta-ojisan fight. It's the greatest!" Goten exclaimed.

"Are the martial artists any good?" Ranma asked.

"Sure. There are some that are weak though, but they get wiped out in the early rounds. I think you'll even make it to the semi-finals."

"Who gets to the finals?"

"Well Goku-ojiisan, Goten, Trunks, Bra, if she participates, Veggie-ojisan, Juuhachi-gou--"

"Number eighteen?" he blurted.

"Long story. Anyway, Mr. Buu, Ubuu, and me too. My other ojiisan usually fights the winner. He pays them to loose."

"You're kidding!" Ranma laughed.

Goten shook his head. "Satan-san isn't too strong."

"What about your parents Pan?" Genma asked, his voice muffled.

She shrugged. "My Tousan really should but he wants to live a normal life. My Kaasan too. But Tousan is *really* strong!"

"I can tell..." Ranma muttered.

"You know, I think I can convince them to fight in it! May 7th is still a little while away."

"How did you know that it was on May 7th?" Ranma asked, awed, "Are you psychic?"

She snorted. "Iie. It's just that it has *always* been held on May 7th."



Later that week on Saturday, still a whole two weeks before the tournament was scheduled to be held, Pan had Ranma in an extensive training program. When he asked her why, she answered simply.

"You want to get into the finals don't you? You do know that you don't have any chance to win, right? *I* don't even have a chance to win!"

Beginning early in the morning before school started and late into the evening, she pushed his energy and strength to the limits. He just simply marveled at how energetic she always was.

"Saiyan metabolism you know. We can go a while without sleep and fight for hours on end."

"You are so lucky!" he had panted.

They both trained and sparred as hard as they could but they weren't the only ones training...

Somehow they had convinced Gohan to fight even though Videl was still a spectator. He had a lot of catching up to do with his training. He spent his time with Piccolo and his father deep in the mountains. His family rarely saw him at all.

Vegeta made sure to work extra hard on his children. They often left the gravity chamber extra bruised but it didn't matter much to them, as long as they won *something*.

Akane and Ukyou trained together. They weren't up to the accelerated routine of Pan's, seeing as the former never was that serious about her training in the first place, so they went along at a slower pace than the rest.

The funny thing about Soun and Genma was that later on the day the tournament was announced by Goten, they had mysteriously vanished as did Happosai. No one at all knew where they went.

Another person that seemed to be gone was Shampoo. She hadn't been seen in several days. Ukyou and Akane both thought that she was working on some trick to claim Ranma for herself.

No matter what was going on exactly with the others at the moment, they would all soon find out very soon.

[1] = Japanese rice wine
[2] = I hope that this is correct. By the anime's ages, I know it came a year too early but just pretend that Pan was four when she fought in the 28th, okay?

Ever closer to the actual plot! Sugoi!