10-18-00 (I'm going to start dating my things so I won't confuse people)
Small side note accompanying an apology: I am *so* sorry about taking so long with this! I had computer problems so I couldn't write at all Monday & Tuesday. My pattern was to post every other day since chapters are pretty lengthy. I also want to say that "I love you" is spelled wrong in the last chapter. The correct was to spell it is wo ai ni. Thanks to Silvertenshi for pointing that out.
The Fifth Fiancé
Looks were exchanged and a silent language was communicated. Finally all gazes fell onto the Ranma.
"What is the meaning of this?" Videl asked. "What in the world does wo ai ni mean anyway?"
No one answered. Shampoo was the only knowledgeable source and she was too busy cuddling up to an uncomfortable looking Ranma to pay much attention to the question. Then Gohan entered the room holding a dictionary.
"Wo ai ni," he mumbled while pushing his reading glasses up with an index finger, "Ah! Here it is!"
Pan, Ukyou, and Akane rushed over to him. "What does it say?"
Suddenly Gohan snapped the book shut and narrowed his eyes. "It means 'I love you'." Sensing his anger, the three girls wisely moved away from him.
"WHAT?!" Ranma shouted loudly. "Don't look at me like that, Son-san! I have no idea what this means!"
Then Shampoo produced a worn book and held it up. Pan took it from her hand. Flipping through the pages, she blinked.
"It's all in Chinese!"
"Let me see that!" Akane snatched it from her and examined it closely. "She's right."
Ukyou then looked and began to read.
"If a amazon woman is defeated in battle by an outsider woman," she read, "she must then administer the kiss of death and hunt her to the ends of the planet to reclaim her honor. But if she is defeated by an outsider man, she must marry him..." She trailed off and looked up with a shocked expression on her face. Pan and Akane were wearing similar looks.
"You can read Chinese?" Ranma asked, amazed.
"Iie," she shook her head and then smiled. "It's in Japanese right below."
"Really?" She showed him the page. "How about that."
"LOOK!" Pan shouted. "That is *not* the point! I want to know what happened exactly!"
"Okay," Ranma said suddenly depressed. He pried the clingy purple-haired girl from his body and sat on the couch. Ukyou, Akane, and Pan instantly surrounded him on all sides so that Shampoo couldn't glomp him again. "It all started back on our training trip to China..."
"Look sirs," the Jusenkyo guide said to a red-haired girl and a large panda, "this here is Chinese Amazon village. They--" He was cut off as a *very* hungry Ranma and Genma spotted the items on a table.
"FOOD!" Ranma shouted in glee as her father just grunted. They took off at top speed to fill their stomachs.
"Wait sirs!" The Chinese man shouted as he ran after them. "You not understand!"
But they did not heed his warning. Stuffing their faces at a rapid pace, they acquired the attention of the spectators to what looked to be a martial arts tournament. A small girl was fighting what looked to be another woman. To be sure, you would have to perform several tests.
"*That's* a woman?" Ranma asked as she looked up from her corn on the cob.
"Oh yes! Very strong Amazon woman. They fight for high position in society." The guide answered. Then Ranma noticed Shampoo.
"Hey! She's pretty cute." He continued to eat as Shampoo won the match. The purple-haired girl glared fiercely and jumped off the beam and over to the table.
"Why you eat Shampoo prize?" she asked angrily. Ranma blinked and looked down at the table. She smiled sheepishly as she saw what was on the sign.
"Match. Now." The girl left.
"Oh dear," the guide said worriedly. "She challenge you. Sir must fight her."
"Sure!" Ranma smirked. "I can get some training in." She approached the amazon and they began to fight both very well matched. Eventually Ranma reigned victorious not one, but *two* times.
"Well," She stretched. "That was that."
Shampoo then smiled in a menacing way that instantly put Ranma on guard. Approaching slowly, she placed a hand underneath the victors chin. Moving slightly next to her face, she kissed her. Stepping back it was over just as quickly as it had begun.
"What the hell did you just do?!" Ranma jumped back suddenly on defense.
"Oh no!" The guide gasped. "This bad. *Very* bad indeed sirs!"
Genma quickly scrawled a sign. <Nani?>
"She give Kiss of Death. Pledge to track to ends of the planet!"
"And that's the whole story," Ranma finished.
"You're a girl too?" Ukyou asked. Ranma nodded. "That's funny. Ryouga's also a--"
"A little tired from our trip," He interrupted a little nervously while placing a hand over her mouth. "Is there someplace Ukyou and I can stay?"
"Ukyou?!" Ranma exclaimed. "Ucchan? Is that you? I didn't even notice. How are ya?!"
"Hai, it is. *Ran-chan*," She emphasized this with a glare.
The boy blinked. "What's his problem?"
Genma suddenly started to fidget. His son noticed immediately. "Pop, there's something you haven't told me isn't there?"
"Hai, Ranma my boy. Ukyou is your fiancé."
There was silence until Ranma began to sputter. "But isn't Ukyou a... guy?"
Ukyou instantly whipped out her spatula. "Ranma you jackass! I'm a one-hundred percent woman!"
"You are?!" Ryouga said brokenly. "You lied!"
She shook her head. "No I didn't. I just never bothered to correct you. I gave up my womanhood for this idiot over here!"
"You see Ranma," Genma said, "I left it all up to you! I asked you specifically Which do you like better? Ukyou or okonomiyaki?"
"Let me guess," Pan said dryly, "you picked okonomiyaki."
"I was six!" he exclaimed.
"So they ran off with my family's cart and left me by the side of the road. I swore then that I would hunt him down and make him PAY!" She swung suddenly at Ranma's head and he twisted aside in a narrow escape.
"Hold it!" Gohan said firmly. "If you're going to fight, take it outside. Genma, I want to have a word with you."
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Akane shouted. "What about me? He left me too!"
"And me!" Ryouga spoke up. "He chickened out of a fight, the coward."
Ranma pointed to Akane while moving toward the front door. "I don't even know what I've done to you and you," he pointed to the other boy, "I have no idea who you even are."
"But one person at a time!" Pan pulled out a pad of paper and a pencil. "For now I'm taking bets."
"I put five yen on Ukyou!" Goten spoke up.
Akane just stared at the dark-haired girl. "This is something I wouldn't have expected my older sister Nabiki to do." Shrugging she followed the other two outdoors. Eventually no one was left except Gohan, Genma, and Videl; and even the latter was peeking between the window curtains.
"Videl!" Gohan said, not quite whining. Thoroughly frustrated with everything he felt like killing something and that feeling was foreign to the generally peaceful demi-saiyan.
His wife sighed as she put the window coverings back into place. "Gomen."
The trio moved to the kitchen table where Saotome practically collapsed into a chair. "Now," Gohan began, "this was your idea in the first place..."
"What did you say to Akane's parents?" Videl suddenly interrupted. She felt that it was a lot more to that story as well.
"Just her father actually. Her mother is deceased." He appeared to look uncomfortable, "She is another fiancé. I sort of promised my son to Soun after not making a payment on the money he loaned me."
"I see," Gohan steepled his fingers. "You cheated Ukyou, you hussled Soun, and you tricked my Tousan. Is there any other form of deceit you are capable of?"
"I don't know," Genma joked trying to ease the tension in the room. "Won't know until I try."
No one laughed. If anything, the looks on Videl and Gohan's faces became even harder.
"All I can do know is apologize for this," he said almost sincerely, "It won't happen again."
"I would hope not," Gohan said as he stood. "Now, we have a battle to supervise."
"I tell ya again: I don't fight girls!" Ranma yelled at Ukyou for a third time. She just did not seem to be getting it.
"You did all those years ago!"
Eager for a fight, Pan produced a water gun from kami knows where. "How about like this then?" And she squirted Ranma directly in the face. The change happened quickly, as it always did, and soon the small red-haired girl stood there in the boy's place.
"Hey! What'd ya do that for?" She demanded.
Pan just shrugged. "Entertainment. Come on! Fight already!"
Ukyou let out a battle cry that startled Ranma slightly as she ran toward him, her long hair flying out, he jumped out of the way and continued to do so.
"C'mon you jackass! Fight me like a man!"
He just continued to block, duck, and dodge as Ukyou became even more frustrated. The three adults came out onto the porch to watch the battle.
"I wonder what this looks like to the neighbors," Gohan mused.
Videl just shrugged. "They're probably used to all of this by now."
Tiring quickly of this mock battle, Ranma finally pinned Ukyou to the ground and said something that ended the conflict instantly. "You know, you're kind of cute."
Her face lit up and she began to smile goofily. "Really?" Pushing him away roughly she hit him rather hard in a failed attempt to be playful. "You're not serious!"
Ranma rubbed his still stinging cheek. "I'm starting to regret it already."
Goten frowned at the outcome and went up to his niece. "Please tell me that you aren't holding me to my bet. I mean, *no one* won that one!"
Shampoo growled viciously and pulled out her katana. "You no touch wo ta aye len."
The translation dictionary appeared in Gohan's hand almost instantly. "Wo ta aye len: my beloved husband."
"Excuse me?!" Ranma asked loudly. "I ain't no beloved nothin'!"
While Ukyou was still off in a complement induced fantasy, Ranma began to question the other two.
"Okay Akane Tendo, what did I do to you?"
She crossed her arms and snorted. "It was both our father's idea completely."
"Pop," Ranma said in a warning tone.
Genma laughed nervously. "She is, uh, also your fiancé boy."
"POP! How many do I have?!"
"The current count is four," Gohan said calmly, "Akane, Ukyou, Shampoo, and Pan-chan."
Pan earned a heated glare from the other three. "That," Akane spat out, "we did not know about."
"Wait a minute!" she held up a hand, "I hate this just as much as you do Akane. Saotome-san tricked my Goku-ojiisan! In fact, Ukyou and Shampoo are the only two who like Ranma."
The pig-tailed boy looked unhappily to the amazon girl. "But I don't like them at all!" She ignored him and continued to cuddle. He sighed and went on to Ryouga. "So, who are you and what do you want?"
"I am Ryouga Hibiki and you, Ranma Saotome, are a complete and utter coward!"
"No wait just a minute!" The other boy protested. But Ryouga left no room for a reply.
"I came on the fourth day and you weren't there!"
"Wait a minute," Ranma mused as he again pried Shampoo loose, "Ryouga Hibiki..." Then his eyes lit with recognition. "I remember you now!"
"NANI?!" Pan asked loudly. "Who is he?!"
Ranma leaned against the fence bordering the Sons' yard and launched into his tale. "It was back when I attended an all boys school..."
The huge crowd of boys shouted angrily as they all wrestled for some food. The lunchlady standing behind the counter holding a large container suddenly belted out something that none wanted to hear:
"Last bread of the day!"
The crowd grew more rowdy as she tossed the package out into the sea of boys. Ryouga grinned as he saw it falling right into his outstretched hands. Then a red blur out-extended him, grasping the package in his teeth.
"Yeah!" Ranma shouted triumphantly as he ripped it open. "Food!"
But it didn't end there. Every single day Ranma snatched more and more food from Ryouga, making the other boy go hungry. Finally Ryouga was fed up and challenged him to a duel to finish things.
"Meet me at the vacant lot behind my house!" Ryouga demanded. "I can kill you there."
And so Ranma set out the next day, fully prepared to beat Ryouga's ass. But alas, it was never meant to be; at the moment anyway. He waited a full three days but the other boy didn't show. Fed up, he left on that training trip to China that his father often ranted about.
"He never showed!" Ranma declared.
"Excuse me?" The other boy said. "I did! I had traveled all over Japan looking for you!"
"Nani?" Pan asked in shock. "You couldn't find the lot in back of your own house?" She began to snicker as did everyone else present.
"Don't laugh it's not funny! I'm cursed with a horrible sense of direction. I can't find anything!" His face took on a dismayed look as he ran off down the street. "Ranma Saotome, I will return!"
"Poor guy," Ukyou said still laughing a bit, "Kind of cute though." She was rewarded with an odd look from the other three girls and she shrugged it off. "Nani?"
"You know what? I'm tired from today so can I *please* go to sleep?" Pan begged.
"Gomen young lady but you have to escort our *guests* to the Capsule Corp. They're the only ones with enough room to house everyone." Gohan said firmly.
"Aw man! Come on Tousan!" She turned her tone to full-blown whine. "I'm sleepy!" His look didn't change. "Kaasan?"
Neither of her parents gave in so finally she sighed. "Alright, let's go."
"Bulma-obaasan!" She shouted as she opened the door. "I have a question!"
The blue-haired woman wiped her hands on her apron as she came into the hall. "Hai? What is it?" So Pan explained her current crisis as Bulma listened intently. "Sure! It's okay with me!"
"I won't impose on you longer than we need to," Ukyou said politely.
"Me neither! I'm going back to Furinkan as soon as possible." Akane spoke up. "I don't know about Shampoo though..."
"No bother. Shampoo great-grandma said she would check up on Shampoo. She will come soon." The girl then smiled. "Shampoo help in kitchen, hai?"
After pondering a peculiar speech pattern for a while, Bulma finally understood what she meant. "Oh! Sure you can help! Cooking for saiyans is no easy task."
Shampoo did not quite understand her comment but she didn't question it further.
Pan turned to the other girls. "I want to call a truce. Ignoring Ukyou's obvious obsession, none of us want to be married to the baka. So, is it okay?" She held out her hand palm down. Akane smiled slightly and added hers over Pan's.
"Excuse me?!" Ukyou huffed. "I am *not* obsessed!" The other two ignored her and just raised an eyebrow. "Oh fine." She also added her hand.
"Okay then! I'll introduce you to my friends. B-CHAN! TRUNKS! COME DOWN HERE!"
Akane and Ukyou winced at her voice. "Couldn't you have just taken us up there?" The latter asked.
Pan shook her head. "I didn't want you to meet Veggie-ojisan before it was time. I have to teach you things first. You don't want to end up in the same position as Ranma!"
Bra came down the stairs first, in her elegant fashion model way. She abandoned it though as she saw her best friend.
"Pan-chan, what's up?" She smiled at their two guests. "Konichi-wa, I'm Bra."
After the introductions were made, that was when Trunks showed up. He was about to slide down the banister when Bulma's voice floated from the kitchen.
"Do it and die."
The purple-haired boy flinched and walked like a normal person. "How did she do that?" he whispered.
The other four just shrugged. He eventually smiled winningly and held out a hand. "Hi. I'm Trunks."
Bra and Pan hit in at the same time.
"Nani? Why'd ya do that?" he asked while rubbing his bruises.
"Stop doing that!" Pan commanded.
"Yeah! Not every girl wants a date with you!"
Then they noticed the looks Akane and Ukyou were possessing. "H-hi!" Ukyou said almost shyly.
Surprisingly, Akane was the exact same way. "I'm Akane Tendo," She said softly. "A pleasure to meet you."
"Oh please!" The other girls groaned.
"It's no wonder they want him," Vegeta suddenly said right behind them. "He does have my genes after all."
"Papa!" Bra complained.
Akane and Ukyou noticed him as well. "I see," Ukyou said admiringly. Vegeta just had to come into the room wearing nothing but the skin-tight spandex he wore to train in. "A little on the short side but it doesn't matter..."
Trunks, suddenly offended, crossed his arms. "Hello? I'm the one you want! Not him!"
"You see? Both their egos are *way* too big!" Pan announced. "Find someone else! Ukyou, you have Ran-chan. Isn't he enough?"
The brown-haired girl sighed. "You're right. I shouldn't be greedy."
"Akane," Pan added. "I thought that you said you hate boys on the walk here! If you hadn't noticed yet, Trunks-chan is a boy."
That snapped the tomboy right out of it like being doused with icy cold water. "That's right!" She said remembering. She then got angry. "How dare you trick me like that Trunks!"
"Huh?" he asked intelligently.
"Yeah you jackass!" The large spatula appeared quickly. "That wasn't fair!"
As the two girls chased him around his own house, Pan smirked to herself and looked on satisfied. 'Score one for me.'
 = It's probably not spelled right.
Comments are always welcome!