Brand New Author's Note (5-26-02): This story isn't going to be finished any time soon so I suggest you don't read it. I was actually only going to do revisions and end it but since so many people consider this fanfic to be pure crap I might as well rewrite it completely even though I don't even want to write anymore about it since I started this so long ago. I have a big issue with story abandonment, though. I hate doing it. I'll see how I feel after finishing a lot of other fanfics and maybe I'll get back to this one.
Disclaimer: As always, standard ones apply.
I've come up with a simple thing that I call "Writer's Rule". It's how I do the ages (this applies to all my fics).
Trunks is 14 years older than Pan, 12 years older than Bra, 1 year older than Goten, and 3 years older than Marron. Gohan is 8 years older than Trunks, 14 years younger than ChiChi, and 15 years younger than Goku. Both Veggie and Bulma are older than Goku and ChiChi but I've never gotten an approximate. Just say that Bulma is about 4 years older than ChiChi, Veggie is 6 years older than ChiChi while he is 2 years older than Bulma.
Warning: Intelligent Goku. (Not really a warning, ne?)
~~~ = flashback, 'blah' = thoughts, *blah* = emphasis, <blah> = things written on signs
The Fifth Fiancé
"You did *what*?!" Both Pan and her parents exclaimed in unison. It was late in the afternoon and all three members of that branch of Sons had gone over to Goku and ChiChi's house while ChiChi was out shopping; by the elder Son's request.
"His story was just so convincing!" Goku said in his defense. "I didn't want his poor son to be brideless forever." Then the saiyan began to recount the meeting in length while the other three listened intently.
"I had met Genma twelve years ago at the 28th Tenkaichi Budoukai and while waiting for our matches, we began to talk about our children; as most parents do..."
"Goku, would you agree to an arranged marriage for one of your children? I mean, it would be easier..." the stout, bald man began almost innocently. He wore a white gi with a black belt as well as a blue scarf on his head. Pushing his glasses back onto his nose with one finger, Saotome Genma waited patiently for a response.
Goku frowned in thought. "Well, I don't know. That seems a little unfair to the child to me."
Genma was prepared for this one. "Ah! But would you like your daughter -- if you had one -- to marry someone that you thought would treat her unfairly? If you picked the groom, there would be no problem."
Goku nodded in understanding at the man's logic but had to protest one more time. "But I don't have a daughter!"
Genma mock frowned and wiped away an imaginary tear. "A niece or young cousin then? I'm really counting on someone for my Ranma and I trust that your family is a good one."
Goku thought for a moment and then he brightened. "I have a granddaughter! Her name is Son Pan and she's five right now."
"That's good!" Genma grinned. "She is the same age as my Ranma!"
"Oh there she is now!" Goku rose from his seat and began to scream at the little girl in the ring. "Go Panny-chan!"
Genma followed his gaze and was shocked to see the small girl going up against a rather large and ugly warrior. "That's Pan?! Won't she get hurt?!" 'Then she won't be able to marry Ranma!' he added silently to himself.
"Nah," Goku grinned. "Watch!"
The two contestants lunged at each and a thick cloud of dust rose. When it cleared, Pan was standing on top of the man's broken body smiling happily.
Genma flinched reflexively as he imagined the pain that little child must have caused. "Ooo, that must've hurt." He turned to Goku and held out a hand. "So, do we have a deal then?"
Goku nodded. "Hai. When they're old enough, Pan-chan will marry your Ranma."
Genma's eyes gleamed behind his glasses. 'Good, good.'
Gohan frowned thoughtfully as the tale came to a close. "Tousan, it sounds like he tricked you."
"Yeah!" Pan joined in. "What if this Ranma guy is butt ugly?"
"Pan, you know better than that!" Videl scolded. "Goku-san, how could you engage our daughter without our consent?!"
Gohan raised an eyebrow as he thought of a good question. "What age did you two agree on?"
"Tousan!" Pan exclaimed. "Are you going along with this?"
"Iie," Gohan shook his head. "I just wanted to know."
Goku began to think. "Hmmm. I think it was 15? Or was it 16? Hai! It was 16!" Then his jaw dropped. "Uh oh."
"I'm 16 now!" Pan wailed. "I don't wanna get married! I'm too young for my life to end!" She jumped up from the table and ran to the front door. Throwing it open, she ran out into the rain and took off into the horizon.
Videl jumped up immediately to go after her but Gohan's hand on her arm halted her.
"Let her go. She has a lot to think about." Videl sat back down and clasped her hands on the table.
"Now Tousan, is there anything else you need to tell us?" his son asked seriously.
"Well," Goku began and the story went on.
Pan's anger had cooled off a bit as she raised her ki slightly to evaporate the dampness from the passing storm that had accumulated. As she walked down the streets of Satan City, she started at a faint noise that seemed to be coming from the bushes surrounding a nearby building. Pan paused to listen, and noticed that it sounded familiar.
It was the sound of someone sneezing repeatedly.
Pan raised an eyebrow at the high-pitched sound. She was about to just continue on when she felt a brief pang of guilt for not at least attempting to help.
Finally she shrugged and walked over to the bushes.
"Hello? Are you okay back there?" she called out as she came closer. The sound continued for a few moments more until a head tentatively poked itself up.
It was a girl about her age with her brilliant red hair done back in a single braid and she had bright blue eyes that a glittered in the pale sunlight. She stood then, her Chinese style red shirt, black pants and black shoes stained with mud from the storm.
Sneezing one last time, she held out a hand and smiled. "Yo! I'm Ranma Saotome and you are?"
"Kaasan! Tousan! Ojiisan!" Pan flung the door open wide while dragging inside the struggling girl by the collar. "We have a problem."
The three adults in question looked up at the sight.
"Pan," Videl began a little hesitantly, "who is your friend."
"This," The black haired girl dropped the red haired one down in the chair opposite Goku. "Is Ranma Saotome."
The three at the table exchanged looks and burst out into wild laughter. "Are you serious?" Goku gasped out.
The look on Pan's face basically said it all.
Goku leaned across the table to poke at Ranma's chest. After the third poke Ranma got fed up and started to yell.
"Would ya quit that?!"
Gohan looked her over and spoke. "What in the world happened to you?"
That was when the door opened again and a large, chubby panda came bouncing in.
"A panda...?" Videl said weakly. "In Japan?"
Ranma snorted as she crossed her arms. "That's just the old man." She looked up hopefully. "By any chance would you happen to have some hot water?"
After the pair were doused and the shock wore off, Ranma and Genma went into the retelling of their woe-filled story.
Ranma and his father dropped their packs on the shore of the legendary cursed springs of the Jusenkyo training ground. As they leaped toward the bamboo poles that jutted out of the water, the frantic guide tried to stop them from making a terrible mistake.
"Sirs! You no do that! Springs very cursed!"
But the two just ignored him. Both martial artists lunged for each other, each landing on another pole. The second time they went for each other, Ranma landed a powerful blow to his father that sent him hurtling toward one of the cold pools. Suddenly a black blur leapt from the water and landed on the pole opposite Ranma.
The boy pointed his mouth open wide and sputtered out something in a shocked voice.
"Wha- What the hell is that?!"
"Oh too bad!" The Guide shook his head sadly. "He fall in Shonmaoniichuan, or Spring of Drowned Panda. Panda died there two-thousand year ago. Very tragic tale. Now whoever fall in take form of dead panda."
Ranma, still stunned, never saw the clawed paw coming until he was falling into yet another one of those cursed springs. Spitting out water, he looked himself over and let out a scream.
The guide just clicked his tongue. "Too bad for you too. Sir fall in Nyanniichuan, or Spring of Drowned Girl. Girl drown there one-thousand, five hundred year ago. Very tragic tale. Now whoever fall in, take on form of drowned girl."
Ranma closed his eyes and felt into his gi. Cracking open an eye he screamed again as he sighted his new pair of breasts.
The guide shook his head again. "Too bad for you sirs. Too bad for you."
"... and that's the whole story," Genma finished sadly.
There was silence for a few minutes until Pan broke it by laughing loudly albeit happily.
"This means I'm off the hook! I don't have to marry the little idiot!"
"HEY!" Ranma protested loudly.
Gohan held up his hand for silence. Turning to Genma he spoke in a barely controlled voice. "What I don't understand is why you tricked my father into this arranged marriage idea of yours."
The dark haired boy still sitting across from Goku jumped to his feet. "What the hell did you do now Pop?!" He shouted.
The others blinked in confusion, even Gohan.
"What?" Videl asked. "You didn't know?"
Ranma narrowed his eyes and forced out between clenched teeth. "He never tells me these things."
Gohan turned to the boys scheming father. "Saotome-san, what do you have to say for yourself?"
He was met with the panda rolling a brightly colored beach ball around with his feet. Genma quickly scrawled on a sign and held it up, <I'm just an ordinary panda!> Everyone facevaulted.
So, how do you like it so far? I was going to do a fusion but so many people are doing those these days. I'm sorry if there was actually a fifth fiancé before Pan, but I haven't seen the final season of Ranma 1/2 yet. But since this is alternate universe (sort of) I could incorporate the other one later on if I need to.