~Dec. 30, 2000~
My second songfic. It changes point-of-views a lot but hopefully it's not *too* confusing. Possible OOC ness. Song credits at the end.
Warning: This deals with yaoi (or male/male relationships). In fact, it's a Goku/Veggie-chan ficcy.
Dimensions of Love
When the cherry blossom
starts to bloom
Meet me here in my lonely room
We'll find a passion filled fantasy
And this time you will stay with me
The humans say that spring is the season for romance. Well, there isn't any in my life. There hasn't been even a trace of such a thing since Bulma died quite a few years ago.
I tried to fill the void her passing had created with many things. None of them were good enough. The children tried to help me, but they just did not understand.
All the misery we knew
before
Stays away when you are at my door
My heart will sing at every tender touch
And oh, you will want me twice as much
He doesn't understand. He shares my similar heartache and depression and doesn't understand!
My pain at ChiChi's recent passing had been great but nothing compares to be have something just out of your reach. The pain I feel for this is different. ChiChi was a good friend, she was loved.
But she was not my soul mate.
I can't help but wonder sometimes if I have a soul mate. Is someone special out there for me? I want to doubt their existence but then I see evidence of it around me in others. Gohan and Videl each share that special bond with someone.
Why can't I as well?
A new dimension of love
A bold adventure waiting for you
The true dimension of love
A soaring flight. A dazzling view
Why must I stare at him so? He has not changed at all since the time I met him so many years ago under very different circumstances. He is still the happy-go-lucky, carefree baka that tends to drive me insane with just a word.
But if he is exactly the same, what is so different?
Maybe I see him in a new light. Maybe it is I who has changed.
But whatever the answer, the question is driving me almost as crazy as he does.
Why is that not a bad thing?
We're gonna take it all the
way
We'll make the dream so totally real
See greater wonders by the day
Then tell the stars what glorious rapture we feel
I don't have to see him visually to know that something's wrong. I can tell by the erratic way that he's sparring. Hn. I can't say a word. I'm faltering too.
Perhaps he shares my thoughts?
He gives me that look he's spent years in perfecting. The trademark glares don't affect me at all. At least not in the way he intends them to. Quite the opposite really.
We both pause briefly, at almost the same instant. Beads of perspiration gleam brightly on the skin of his cheek. It takes all of my will power not to gently brush away the glistening drop. A few seconds more, and the fight resumes as if just taken from pause.
But I can tell that his heart is not in it.
Soon, with the start of
Spring
We will know our hearts are changing
Leave the hurt behind
I'll be true and kind
Be the best that you'll ever find
The endless game goes on and on. Will this charade ever end?
I know that I'm not entirely sure of what I am feeling, but I grow weary of cat and mouse. Sure, we can pretend as if all things are normal between us but we both know different. I can sense it in his ki. A slight difference whenever I am in the same area as he. Slight, but noticeable.
But then again, why would he ever want a person like me? My soul is shadowed by the things I have done in the past and he is an angel descended from Heaven. Demons and angels just don't mix.
We don't ever have to cry or
fight
Something tells me we can make it right
Enough of wandering far and wide
I just can't forget you, though I've tried
We've been friends this long, why not take it further?
I still don't understand why I feel at peace when he is around me. He sets my soul at ease. Others may not believe it, but I too have worries.
I worry about whether the peace will last long. Whether my grandchildren or great-grandchildren will have to grow up fighting for their lives as we did. Fight for the right to existence. But despite that I don't regret any day of my life.
I just wish that some things could have been done differently.
But he takes away all of that when he is around. I cease to worry about the future. I only worry about the present and whether he will be in it long.
That's just the kind of effect he has on me.
This is destiny so why
pretend
Close your eyes, kiss me once again
I'll always be the only one you need
So go where your deepest longing leads
It seems I will have to be the institutor. He is hesitant it seems but then again, so I am. I've never felt this way before.
Bulma had a hand in the melting process of my heart but then again, so did my children. I feel guilty at leading her on for so many years but she never did make feel the way he does.
And he doesn't even have to be around.
A new dimension of love
A bold adventure waiting for you
The true dimension of love
A soaring flight. A dazzling view
We're gonna take it all the
way
We'll make the dream so totally real
See greater wonders by the day
Then tell the stars what glorious rapture we feel
I think of this as an adventure. A new challenge to give variety to life. Actually, I think that about all new things.
And boy do I love challenges.
He has been calmed by years on Chikyuu. I don't know if he realizes it or not, but it's true.
But even so, he will never ever be completely tamed.
I know the way he looks at me. He worships me like a god.
When will he realize that I am mortal like he?
Soon, in the April breeze
We will bring alive the memories
Yes I'm sure we will
Bring back every thrill
Make them all lovelier still
I can't take this torture any longer. I will not put up with it! If he wants to make me insane, he's doing a damn good job of it.
I wonder how the others will react? I know that shouldn't matter at all, but I do have a reputation to protect. I can't be seen melting into a puddle every time he smiles at me.
Why do I always want things I can't have?
When the cherry blossom
starts to bloom
Meet me here in my lonely room
We'll find a passion filled fantasy
And this time you will stay with me
It has been months since this has began. I guess I've never really noticed him in that way before, since my mind was so preoccupied in either keeping ChiChi happy or saving the world from destruction. ChiChi....
She deserved much better.
ChiChi, despite everything others would say, deserved someone that could commit himself fully to her; heart and soul. Unfortunately, even after trying my best, I still could not submit myself. I could be dutiful and keep up the pretense of a loving husband but I know in my heart it could never be actually true.
The sad thing was, I think she knew it as well.
All the misery we knew
before
Stays away when you’re at my door
My heart will sing at every tender touch
And you will want me twice as much
I intend to make my move today. The time for games has passed, the moment for hesitance is long over. He feels it, I feel it. I believe the whole world can feel it. But yet, something holds each of us back.
Then he asks me if I believe in soul mates. I didn't want to do it, but I am not known for my tact.
So I said no.
The pain that resulted in seeing his face fall was heart wrenching. I want to die right now for ever having a hand in making him look that way. So I did the first thing that came to mind.
I apologized.
We don't ever have to cry or
fight
Something tells me we can make it right
Enough of wandering far and wide
I can't forget you though I've tried
I should have known his answer but it didn't hurt to try. I couldn't even prevent the disappointed look that came across my face. But something happened then. As I noticed the distress look it caused, for some irrational reason it gave me hope.
"Kakarott? I apologize."
I smile. Half in disbelief that he could feel that way but at the same time, half knowing that he could.
"You don't have to."
He smiles, a gesture that warms my heart. "I must because I have lied."
He takes my hand.
"I do believe. Because I have found my own. You are the other half of my being. I've just never realized it before."
My heart fills with complete and utter joy. There are no more tears. No more battles.
"You know what Vegeta? So have I."
This is destiny so why
pretend.
Close your eyes, kiss me once again.
I'll always be the only one you need
So go where your deepest longing leads
~Owari~
So, what did everyone think? I hoped my words went well with the mood the lyrics created but I may have been a little off.
Song credits: Dimension of Love (english version) from Tenchi Universe, episode number 23: No Need for a Conclusion. Ryoko's love song.
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